Thursday, January 19, 2012

The House as Beast

Over ten years ago I sold my first house (the first one that I owned) after my divorce. At the time, I admit that I was relieved that the house was no longer my responsibility; this was after two basement floods, a swarm of field mice and a garage that almost caved in on me. The house had become a beast, a monster, Gilgamesh at his worst (when he slept with all the wives before their weddings). Not only did the house test me at every instance, it also represented the years of being married to a serial cheater, represented the two years of cancer treatment and the ultimate removal of everything that made me a woman and represented the underlying anger and violence that met me daily. No longer was this building a home where a family could grow and succeed; no, the house roared at me each time I drove up, its voice filled with rage and hatred. I wanted it out of my life as soon as possible.

Most people in suburbia dream of home ownership as it represents the pinnacle of belonging. In my eyes the house was not a dream but a nightmare; in fact, I never want to live in a house like that again. Nope, a condo where someone else worries about getting rid of vermin and fixing the roof, a co-op where an elevator takes me to my floor and snow removal is no concern, that is what my suburban dream is made of.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

A New Day A New Traffic Pattern

One of the worst parts about living in suburbia is driving; personally I am a huge believer that if you can't walk somewhere you probably don't want to go there. Most weekends I simply shut myself in my house (usually in my room under my Linus blankie) and refuse to leave the house; traffic on the one main thoroughfare is miserable what with all the suburbanites going to the Gap or ShopRite. If I do leave the house, I put on my radio and blast some "fuck you" music with the force of a frontman for the Insane Clown Posse; that way I get myself into the appropriate mood to handle all the hell that awaits. Yup I become a Juggaloo for the weekend and if you don't understand the reference then you are definitely a person who needs to move.