Saturday, December 31, 2011

New Year's Here!

So my daughter's friends have begun to arrive as I hide upstairs dressed in my PINK sweats, North Face jacket and UGG slippers (who said you can't be fashionable on New Year's Eve?). I am trying to remain positive in the face of being miserably alone on NYE; okay so it's clearly an overrated night that is associated with the pressure to be going out with someone but I have to admit that I'm feeling a bit sad. Part of that sadness comes from the fact that alot of parents are dropping their kids here so they can go out to local parties; it would never even enter their heads to invite moi, the single mom. The suburbs are filled with the same mean girls and boys from high school - they have simply grown up to become mean adults. Part of that mean behavior is to exclude anyone that doesn't conform to your view of what an adult should be and I certainly don't conform in any way.

A story that comes to mind is when my daughter was in 6th grade and the PTA was planning their graduation party. Thinking I'd be a part of the event, I volunteered to help out. I came to the party and discovered that I was given clean up duty with the janitors; as one of the head bitches handed me a broom, I smiled and attempted to be as lady like as possible (even though I wanted to slap her across her Botoxed face). As I cleaned, I talked with the janitors (who were really cool) and tried to be positive even though I was seething inside; the moms stood against the gym wall and watched, smirks on their faces. It was clear that I would never be one of them and it was clear that I would never want to be one of them. What killed me was the fact that my daughter watched with shame; she knew that if her mom was not accepted it would be that much harder for her to be one of the popular kids. Mess with me but don't mess with my children.

So here it is a big night in the suburbs and I am dressed to kill (literally and physically), praying that my daughter has a good time with her friends and that my son doesn't drink and drive. At least if I was in the city I would be able to walk outside and see another adult.

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