Saturday, December 31, 2011
What the Hell is Hooking Up and Why Am I Not Doing it?
Okay I am eavesdropping on my daughter and her friends. They're talking about hooking up and blow jobs...hmmm. The question I always have is what the hell is hooking up? Is it getting to first base? Does first base even exist anymore? Is it actual screwing? Is it just kissing? According to my son it's kissing but according to my daughter it's having sex. I've even gone so far as to ask some of my former students what they think it is and have had more answers than I can share. What is remarkable to me is that fact that blowjobs are nothing in the scheme of things nowadays; its the Clinton excuse - it's not sex if I'm just "going down on him." In my mind, there is nothing more intimate than being that close to a penis but hey, I'm old-fashioned. The best story I've heard this week is that one of my daughter's classmates just got a tattoo (her mother had to have signed off as this is a state that does not readily give under 16 year olds tattoos) above her vagina that says "STRENGTH" in chinese letters. Of course the guy she's sleeping with took a photo on his IPhone and sent it to everyone in the town. What did the girl's mother say when she found out about the sexting of her daughter's vajayjay? Well her response was (and I quote), "She makes her mother proud, the slut." Yup, that's what mama said. Suburbia rocks.